Philomena knocked us out with the impact of her title (above). Edie suggested that line was a poem in itself and so strong that it overwhelmed the rest of the poem.
Edie's poem was a very sensual offering loaded with assonance and alliteration. "I spoon with you and down your spine my finger slithers..." Minor controversy arose of the use of the word fluffy which, to me and Philomena at least, stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb.
Mark impressed with "Grateful for the small acts of morning", a slow and gentle read which interestingly was interpreted by the rest of us in quite differing ways. Mine was way off base (but amusing), perhaps inspired by Edie's sex poem.
Alan was artistic - "everyday you bring out your brush and swirl the surface about" -and spare with his words - "no message message I get the message" and thought -provoking - "is there a judge in the front of this prison?" Good one.
The artistic streak carried through Tim's descriptive rather than narrative endeavor. I must admit to finding it intriguing, but hard to sort out (one woman or two? downtrodden and walking the beach or drinking on the porch?) It also included a missing lake discovered and a posing herring which turned out to be a heron. It did read like a canvas, but I remain confused. Who shoots herring anyway - or herons?
Fortunately we rely on Paul for a dependably relate-able poem and he came through again. Who hasn't flattened a penny on a railroad track? Well, maybe not Edie. The rest of us all related and I vow to do it again this summer if summer ever comes.
Welcome back, Lawlor - Dan returned from his "weathered wanderings" with a musical poem about leaving memories, loaded (by his own admittance) with cliches. Mark performed an excellent third read of the rhythmical though not rhyming Yeats-referenced work.
Okay - Larry: A long dense poem on my neo-empty period which I had the privilege to read. It was fun, a bit of a tongue twister in spots. Some lines less effective than others, could be cut for the sake of lightening it, but the poem was well-received the way it was. I love: "I nibble the piece of cake on all sides trying to keep its shape as it shrinks"
Dan W. brought to my attention the fact that I frequently mention those who are missing from meetings, as well as attendees. I guess this is fostered by my now-thwarted maternal instincts. If some of the chicks are not around, I need to know where they are. In that vein I will report that Ally Cat Anderson is in Texas, Beach Boy Burke back in Florida, Tom C. in the wilderness of Huntersland, Jim Williams and Ann Lapinski, whereabouts unknown, and Dennis sent his excuses. That reminds me that I will be absent for the next meeting on the 24th as I am planning to be sunbathing on Bradenton Beach. Someone else (and all are fighting for this opportunity) will be in charge.
Remember to sign up on March 21 for the Poet Laureate contest (Tim and Paul and I are all judges). Alan's field trip is this weekend. Call him for details. BTW, if anyone cares, we are discontinuing discussion night for lack of participation. Larry and I will be planning more exclusive trysts.
The evening included an enthusiastic exchange of info on Spanish Bar Cake between Mark and me. Anyone else remember Spanish Bar Cake?
Some of Us
Dennis Sullivan, Beverly Osborne, Tom Corrado, Edie Abrams, Art Willis, Alan Casline (all seated); Paul Amidon, Mike Burke, Tim Verhaegen, Mark O'Brien, Barbara Vink, Philomena Moriarty
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Smith's Tavern Contest Rules
SMITH’S TAVERN SECOND ANNUAL POET LAUREATE CONTEST
WHEN
Sunday, April 17, 2011 at NOON sharp
WHERE
Smith’s Tavern, 112 Maple Avenue, Voorheesville, NY 12186; Tel: 518-765-4163
CASH PRIZES
Poet Laureate - $100
Second Place - $50
Honorable Mention - $25
(Names to be inscribed on Laureate trophy displayed in Smith’s Tavern)
TERMS
Open to the first 25 poets who register by emailing starting noon March 21st. E-mail must be from registering poet only. Applicants will be notified of acceptance by March 28.
THREE ROUNDS
Each poet will read three poems (one per round) of 25, 35, 45 (or fewer) lines respectively, the title of the poem not being counted.
Poets will read the title of the poem followed by the body without introductory remarks, and only once.
Poets must bring five hardcopies of each poem to the contest to be handed in to Laureate Coordinator, Michael Burke, at time of registration.
The poems for all three rounds must have lines visibly and neatly numbered in the margin for easy identification, and name at top, before they will be accepted.
DAY’S SCHEDULE
Starting Time: Noon sharp (The tavern will be open at 11:15 with all poets expected by 11:30).
Reading order: Poets will be randomly assigned positions beforehand by round; sheets with the assigned positions will be distributed to poets at time of registration.
Two opening rounds—followed by a 40-minute break—then the Final Round
There will be a brief (30-second) break between readers to allow the next reader to settle in
Prizes will be awarded immediately following the scoring of the final round
JUDGING BASED ON FOUR CRITERIA (1-5 POINTS FOR EACH POEM IN EACH ROUND)
1. PRESENTATION—Poem is clear and understandable with good rhythm and flow; conveys awareness
2. MECHANICS—Uses metaphor and imagery well; exhibits concision and wholeness; has good sound
3. DEPTH OF FEELING—Is unique, creative, passionate, inspirational, fresh, and thoughtful
4. OVERALL IMPACT—Is engaging, interesting, stimulating, captivating, compelling
ALTERNATES
There will be no alternates allowed should any of the registered poets fail to show.
TIES
In the event of a tie, the judges’ scores with the lowest total score for each tied poet will be dropped. This will be done until the tie is broken. More on that the day of the event.
LAUREATE AS JUDGE
The Laureate for each year will be invited to serve as a judge for the following year’s contest but acceptance of the invitation is optional.
WHEN
Sunday, April 17, 2011 at NOON sharp
WHERE
Smith’s Tavern, 112 Maple Avenue, Voorheesville, NY 12186; Tel: 518-765-4163
CASH PRIZES
Poet Laureate - $100
Second Place - $50
Honorable Mention - $25
(Names to be inscribed on Laureate trophy displayed in Smith’s Tavern)
TERMS
Open to the first 25 poets who register by emailing
THREE ROUNDS
Each poet will read three poems (one per round) of 25, 35, 45 (or fewer) lines respectively, the title of the poem not being counted.
Poets will read the title of the poem followed by the body without introductory remarks, and only once.
Poets must bring five hardcopies of each poem to the contest to be handed in to Laureate Coordinator, Michael Burke, at time of registration.
The poems for all three rounds must have lines visibly and neatly numbered in the margin for easy identification, and name at top, before they will be accepted.
DAY’S SCHEDULE
Starting Time: Noon sharp (The tavern will be open at 11:15 with all poets expected by 11:30).
Reading order: Poets will be randomly assigned positions beforehand by round; sheets with the assigned positions will be distributed to poets at time of registration.
Two opening rounds—followed by a 40-minute break—then the Final Round
There will be a brief (30-second) break between readers to allow the next reader to settle in
Prizes will be awarded immediately following the scoring of the final round
JUDGING BASED ON FOUR CRITERIA (1-5 POINTS FOR EACH POEM IN EACH ROUND)
1. PRESENTATION—Poem is clear and understandable with good rhythm and flow; conveys awareness
2. MECHANICS—Uses metaphor and imagery well; exhibits concision and wholeness; has good sound
3. DEPTH OF FEELING—Is unique, creative, passionate, inspirational, fresh, and thoughtful
4. OVERALL IMPACT—Is engaging, interesting, stimulating, captivating, compelling
ALTERNATES
There will be no alternates allowed should any of the registered poets fail to show.
TIES
In the event of a tie, the judges’ scores with the lowest total score for each tied poet will be dropped. This will be done until the tie is broken. More on that the day of the event.
LAUREATE AS JUDGE
The Laureate for each year will be invited to serve as a judge for the following year’s contest but acceptance of the invitation is optional.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Black Tree Tango
The above phrase caused many poets much conflict last night in my work, which was nothing more than a descriptive passage of the sight of a forest of bare trees dancing in the wind. The trees were bumping hips and elbows and shouting "tequila". I thought it was quite clever. Oh, well.
The night's masterpiece clearly flowed from Tim's pen (figuratively speaking). I had the privilege of doing the second read and, while I was being dramatically affected by the content, the rest of the group was in stitches. I guess you could say it was both moving and hilarious in a sad way. It is called Nightmare on State Street and anyone who missed it should ask for a reading. Definitely a performance piece, possibly to be performed at Sunday Four.
Edie's Eye of a Camera was talked about at length. Edie offered us alternative endings to the comparison of a photograph and a poem, both as art forms. Lots of opinion on this one.
Larry brought us a trilogy of poems, loosely linked in theme (sex, of course). Jim asked if we knew why Bach had so many children (23?) and no one did, although I can't tell you the answer here. Back to Larry's main poem: we labeled it powerful and true. Good one. And...Lar was wearing beautiful bandaids.
That math man assaulted our senses again with a mathematical poem: Cinquain A Cinq, written in five, five-line stanzas with matching number of syllables per line. Each stanza was planned to act as a stand-alone poem, and it all reflected JW's black humor.
Paul's nicely crafted poem delivered its strong, clear message as usual. The topic was friendship: "Sunlight, twilight, rain: no matter: I am in for the long haul." Good sentiment, good poem, although I wanted to chuck the "among tears" phrase that Paul refused to part with. He did vow to take another suggestion about line breaks.
Philomena has been talking to her dead brother, which is not as bizarre as it sounds. Her poem was quite touching. Tim was vehement in his assertion that one would not mourn for someone they had not been close to in life, but I understood it perfectly. One would, perhaps, mourn harder.
I passed around a copy of the Smith's Tavern PL Contest chapbook. Mike Burke did a great job of compiling and getting it published. Thanks so much to Missing Mike and Distributing Dennis. Copies are available for purchase someplace. Maybe Book House. Check with Dennis who was not there last night.
I am having grandchildren visit this weekend but will see you at Sunday Four to hear Joe Krausman, if possible.
PS - Alan, I have Rootdrinker dues for you!
The night's masterpiece clearly flowed from Tim's pen (figuratively speaking). I had the privilege of doing the second read and, while I was being dramatically affected by the content, the rest of the group was in stitches. I guess you could say it was both moving and hilarious in a sad way. It is called Nightmare on State Street and anyone who missed it should ask for a reading. Definitely a performance piece, possibly to be performed at Sunday Four.
Edie's Eye of a Camera was talked about at length. Edie offered us alternative endings to the comparison of a photograph and a poem, both as art forms. Lots of opinion on this one.
Larry brought us a trilogy of poems, loosely linked in theme (sex, of course). Jim asked if we knew why Bach had so many children (23?) and no one did, although I can't tell you the answer here. Back to Larry's main poem: we labeled it powerful and true. Good one. And...Lar was wearing beautiful bandaids.
That math man assaulted our senses again with a mathematical poem: Cinquain A Cinq, written in five, five-line stanzas with matching number of syllables per line. Each stanza was planned to act as a stand-alone poem, and it all reflected JW's black humor.
Paul's nicely crafted poem delivered its strong, clear message as usual. The topic was friendship: "Sunlight, twilight, rain: no matter: I am in for the long haul." Good sentiment, good poem, although I wanted to chuck the "among tears" phrase that Paul refused to part with. He did vow to take another suggestion about line breaks.
Philomena has been talking to her dead brother, which is not as bizarre as it sounds. Her poem was quite touching. Tim was vehement in his assertion that one would not mourn for someone they had not been close to in life, but I understood it perfectly. One would, perhaps, mourn harder.
I passed around a copy of the Smith's Tavern PL Contest chapbook. Mike Burke did a great job of compiling and getting it published. Thanks so much to Missing Mike and Distributing Dennis. Copies are available for purchase someplace. Maybe Book House. Check with Dennis who was not there last night.
I am having grandchildren visit this weekend but will see you at Sunday Four to hear Joe Krausman, if possible.
PS - Alan, I have Rootdrinker dues for you!
Friday, February 11, 2011
glad for the stink of it
CASLINE'S ARTISTIC MUSE TRIUMPHS: The Bird's artistic muse fought it out with his scientific muse and won. The result was an inspired work called Invoking which included lines such as "blindness occurs when you are shown everything" and "glad for life, glad for the stink of it". We approved.
If the stink line qalified for best line of the night, I'm voting for Tim's Your Eyes for best poem. For me, it edged out a field of extremely good ones because of its intensity, the passion, the sadness and loss that was so apparent in it.
Alan's muses were not the only ones at odds at this meeting. Several minor controversies arose, one revolving around Tim's use of "supposively" which Mark looked up and found in the Urban Dictionary on his ever-ready iPad. I enjoy made up words and will advocate for them except in situations where they appear to be simply grammatical errors, as this appeared to be.
Interestingly, the word "litanize" is also not in the dictionary (at least not in the Merriam Webster's I looked at) but it certainly sounded like a legitimate word and it was obvious to all of us what Dennis meant in his psalm I Am Moved To Litanize. Dennis the criminal justice professor revealed a momentuous decision he had recently made regarding his belief in the afterlife (reference The Will to Believe by Will James).
I was also thinking of the afterlife in a roundabout way as I described The Beast that is consuming all of us "one finger, one toe at a time". Not a lot of critique. Some quibbled with my making the beast male. Seemed logical to me.
Markle and I crossed swords over the composition of Ann's The Magnolia. It was back to the old issue of line breaks and breathing. I thought they were poorly executed in this work, but Obee defended them heatedly. The flowing poem was a nice breakthrough for Ann, who has previously been more reserved and structured in her expression.
Mark himself had a good one about listening to the sound of the Oniskethau creek which runs by his house. There was quite a discussion over whether or not streams "burble" in the winter, but the poem was concise and clear painted a perfect picture of the mountain shadow, full moon, and snowy landscape.
Alan remarked that there was no narrative in Paul's The Silver Lining, a "fantastic" poem (Tim) more conceptual and zen than his story poems. I accused Larry of channeling Tom in his war-is-interrupted-by-jelly-donuts work. Someone pointed out how acidic and bitter it was, making Larry happy.
Jim Williams impressed us anew with his guitar playing and the unusual instrument he was toting (we all smelled it). Beautiful. Beautiful. And it was good to see Jim.
I MISSED COLDFEST. Cathy and I chickened out because of the freezing rain. I understand a lovely time was had by all and I had to eat my appetizer for dinner that night, and for about three days following.
Which reminds me, I heard from Mike Burke, who is presently in sunny Mexico and not coming home anytime soon.
Afterthought: I have been investigating The Poets Laureate Anthology, a new library book which includes all of the American PLs ever (since its inception in 1937) with short bios and samples of work. Foreward by Billy Collins. Worth a look.
If the stink line qalified for best line of the night, I'm voting for Tim's Your Eyes for best poem. For me, it edged out a field of extremely good ones because of its intensity, the passion, the sadness and loss that was so apparent in it.
Alan's muses were not the only ones at odds at this meeting. Several minor controversies arose, one revolving around Tim's use of "supposively" which Mark looked up and found in the Urban Dictionary on his ever-ready iPad. I enjoy made up words and will advocate for them except in situations where they appear to be simply grammatical errors, as this appeared to be.
Interestingly, the word "litanize" is also not in the dictionary (at least not in the Merriam Webster's I looked at) but it certainly sounded like a legitimate word and it was obvious to all of us what Dennis meant in his psalm I Am Moved To Litanize. Dennis the criminal justice professor revealed a momentuous decision he had recently made regarding his belief in the afterlife (reference The Will to Believe by Will James).
I was also thinking of the afterlife in a roundabout way as I described The Beast that is consuming all of us "one finger, one toe at a time". Not a lot of critique. Some quibbled with my making the beast male. Seemed logical to me.
Markle and I crossed swords over the composition of Ann's The Magnolia. It was back to the old issue of line breaks and breathing. I thought they were poorly executed in this work, but Obee defended them heatedly. The flowing poem was a nice breakthrough for Ann, who has previously been more reserved and structured in her expression.
Mark himself had a good one about listening to the sound of the Oniskethau creek which runs by his house. There was quite a discussion over whether or not streams "burble" in the winter, but the poem was concise and clear painted a perfect picture of the mountain shadow, full moon, and snowy landscape.
Alan remarked that there was no narrative in Paul's The Silver Lining, a "fantastic" poem (Tim) more conceptual and zen than his story poems. I accused Larry of channeling Tom in his war-is-interrupted-by-jelly-donuts work. Someone pointed out how acidic and bitter it was, making Larry happy.
Jim Williams impressed us anew with his guitar playing and the unusual instrument he was toting (we all smelled it). Beautiful. Beautiful. And it was good to see Jim.
I MISSED COLDFEST. Cathy and I chickened out because of the freezing rain. I understand a lovely time was had by all and I had to eat my appetizer for dinner that night, and for about three days following.
Which reminds me, I heard from Mike Burke, who is presently in sunny Mexico and not coming home anytime soon.
Afterthought: I have been investigating The Poets Laureate Anthology, a new library book which includes all of the American PLs ever (since its inception in 1937) with short bios and samples of work. Foreward by Billy Collins. Worth a look.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Geography King
turned out to be Alan who triumphed in the face of opposition from Cathy and myself. Who knows where the Sandwich Islands are? He did and I'm not saying more except that I was wrong. If you don't know the answer and you care, you can look it up, which Mark did on his iPad to settle the argument.
Yes, we had a cameo appearance by Cathy Anderson, who has been among the missing for a while. She had a lovely poem about sleeping memories (see the epigraph to the right) which I found very sad. It was actually very similar to the brief poem I brought, written at the last minute for the occasion because I was feeling guilty for not writing lately. Anyway, my poem, called Eavesdropping, reflected my feeling of isolation when I become aware of the life that is going on around and without me. Pretty much of a bummer.
Larry's work was a bit of a conundrum to me this week. I couldn't get a clear picture of what he was trying to convey. Some great lines, but not a lot of comment. BTW, "smithereens" according to the dictionary can only be used as a plural noun meaning bits or fragments. There is no smithereen.
Perhaps I was particularly obtuse last night, but I also had trouble with Alan's Echoes Going By, which the author said he wrote in a parking lot by a railroad track in Maine while waiting for his shopping wife. It was one of his hexagrams (#12) relating to the I Ching, which I don't know much about. I don't seem to know much of anything today, do I? I do know "The little gate opens from the dragon garden".
Markle had a good one in How the sky was emptied, complete with beautiful photo. In an interesting experiement we re-read the poem a total of 5 times, experimenting with lines and breathing and pace. It was a poem expressing excitement - the anticipation of capturing the sun in hand, which exuded a feeling of calm. Strange.
Paul's poem North Star was the impetus for the island argument, mentioning the Solomon Islands as a port of call for his uncle Ezekiel who spent his life roaming the seas. One island led to another somehow. Anyway, it was a beautifully framed poem which the group had a lot of suggestions for, taking out unessential words or lines, perhaps changing title.
Lastly, we were practically stunned by the bearded visage of (the ghost of?) Tom Corrado. Then, he blew us all away with a rendition of his new chapbook "A History of the World in Four-Line Feeds: Part 18". Excellent, excellent.
Reminder of: COLDFEST at Alan's February 5 at 3 p.m. and Discussion night here on February 3 at 7.
According to an email from Beach Boy Burke, the anthology of Smith's Tavern poems is almost ready for distribution. Next Poet Laureate contest date was changed to April 17.
Yes, we had a cameo appearance by Cathy Anderson, who has been among the missing for a while. She had a lovely poem about sleeping memories (see the epigraph to the right) which I found very sad. It was actually very similar to the brief poem I brought, written at the last minute for the occasion because I was feeling guilty for not writing lately. Anyway, my poem, called Eavesdropping, reflected my feeling of isolation when I become aware of the life that is going on around and without me. Pretty much of a bummer.
Larry's work was a bit of a conundrum to me this week. I couldn't get a clear picture of what he was trying to convey. Some great lines, but not a lot of comment. BTW, "smithereens" according to the dictionary can only be used as a plural noun meaning bits or fragments. There is no smithereen.
Perhaps I was particularly obtuse last night, but I also had trouble with Alan's Echoes Going By, which the author said he wrote in a parking lot by a railroad track in Maine while waiting for his shopping wife. It was one of his hexagrams (#12) relating to the I Ching, which I don't know much about. I don't seem to know much of anything today, do I? I do know "The little gate opens from the dragon garden".
Markle had a good one in How the sky was emptied, complete with beautiful photo. In an interesting experiement we re-read the poem a total of 5 times, experimenting with lines and breathing and pace. It was a poem expressing excitement - the anticipation of capturing the sun in hand, which exuded a feeling of calm. Strange.
Paul's poem North Star was the impetus for the island argument, mentioning the Solomon Islands as a port of call for his uncle Ezekiel who spent his life roaming the seas. One island led to another somehow. Anyway, it was a beautifully framed poem which the group had a lot of suggestions for, taking out unessential words or lines, perhaps changing title.
Lastly, we were practically stunned by the bearded visage of (the ghost of?) Tom Corrado. Then, he blew us all away with a rendition of his new chapbook "A History of the World in Four-Line Feeds: Part 18". Excellent, excellent.
Reminder of: COLDFEST at Alan's February 5 at 3 p.m. and Discussion night here on February 3 at 7.
According to an email from Beach Boy Burke, the anthology of Smith's Tavern poems is almost ready for distribution. Next Poet Laureate contest date was changed to April 17.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
1st Night January
Catherine Connelly is a great contributor to group discussions and it was good to see her at 1st Night. We started off picking some of the lines that Larry had emailed us and followed the discussion where it led. A good bit of the talking was about visual art (our guest Steve was doodling while we spoke). I said that I was unable to function simultaneously in writing and art modes, so Larry suggested that I bring a visual piece as my next poem. Worth contemplating. Also talked about the difficulties surrounding critiques, those who want or don't want it, how to do it w/o hurting feelings, how much your own work affects your critical thinking. I would like to continue that conversation. Five of us attended and we ended in time for me to rush home to see Grey's Anatomy.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A little late
Seeing that I left on holiday vacation immediately following the last meeting, without a chance to blog it, I won't. It was a quiet vacation for me, reading, doing a little artwork, and watching game shows (confessing I love game shows) on TV.
Reminders: Edie will be reading on January 20 at UPJ (Dan Wilcox) and we are planning dinner at La Salsa Latina at 5 p.m. prior. Let Dennis know if you will be attending and he will make a reservation for us. Alan and Jennifer's annual Cold Fest will be at their house on February 5. Alan has thoughtfully made the start time 3 p.m. for those of us who no longer like to be out after dark, although you are invited to stay late if you are so inclined. Always a good time, although I will personally miss Professor Willis and Judy this year.
Misc: Tom stopped at the lib this week and is not snowbound in Huntersland. Larry and I had a great visit at Tim's new apartment; it is lovely and was beautifully decorated for Christmas. Weather permitting, I will be having lunch with Catherine Ally Cat Anderson this week and will encourage her to rejoin us soon. I understand from his daughter that Professor Sullivan has been having some tooth problems. Jim Williams is a little under the weather, too. I missed Dan W.'s open house on New Year's day. Did anyone go?
Tomorrow night is discussion night here at 7 p.m., regular meeting on the 13th.
Reminders: Edie will be reading on January 20 at UPJ (Dan Wilcox) and we are planning dinner at La Salsa Latina at 5 p.m. prior. Let Dennis know if you will be attending and he will make a reservation for us. Alan and Jennifer's annual Cold Fest will be at their house on February 5. Alan has thoughtfully made the start time 3 p.m. for those of us who no longer like to be out after dark, although you are invited to stay late if you are so inclined. Always a good time, although I will personally miss Professor Willis and Judy this year.
Misc: Tom stopped at the lib this week and is not snowbound in Huntersland. Larry and I had a great visit at Tim's new apartment; it is lovely and was beautifully decorated for Christmas. Weather permitting, I will be having lunch with Catherine Ally Cat Anderson this week and will encourage her to rejoin us soon. I understand from his daughter that Professor Sullivan has been having some tooth problems. Jim Williams is a little under the weather, too. I missed Dan W.'s open house on New Year's day. Did anyone go?
Tomorrow night is discussion night here at 7 p.m., regular meeting on the 13th.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Very annoying things
keep happening to me the last few days and I am fed up with electronic/computer/email problems, so if anything goes wrong while I am blogging this, I'm quitting.
We again had a testosterone-dominated group last Thursday. The balance improved to 4/7 with the last minute arrival of Philomena and Edie. Philomena brought "Audience", addressing the question we have tossed around for discussion of who we are writing for. Edie wrote a clever "Ginsberg-like" character sketch of spinster Amalia Ottemberg.
I missed most of the critique of Ann's "Eight Varieties, One Garden" because I was out of the room, but I know it was about tomatoes and it was colorful - unlike Paul's "After Hours" which painted a great picture of a quiet bar without referencing a single color by name. It mentioned the Poet's Corner, making us all believe it was Smith's Tavern. Mark's iPad reminded us of the Poet's Corner in Westminster Abbey, too.
The debate over audience was revived over "Beautiful Child", Tim's twin brother. The question was how much we poets were affected by already knowing a lot about Tim's family and if something needed to be clarified in the poem for those who didn't have the background info we did. I think Tim decided to rework it a little.
Dennis proclaimed Dan's poem excellent and another good stretch for this relatively new poet. I liked "oysters of thought", did not like "salivated". Someone suggested a tense change.
There was some debate over Alan's first line(s), a small punctuating error (the old it's/its dilemma) but he received kudos for the placement on page and a popular ending. Mark brought a Freudian poem of repression (according to Dennis), which to me was merely an nice work equating broken relationships to broken dishes.
My noms for BPOE (best poem of the evening) are Trying to Sweep Away the Fire and Ode to Darkness, Larry and Dennis respectively. Larry's worked because or in spite of the cameltoe reference which we explained to the unfamiliar. Larry: " small fire, a giggling wick on a carpet". Dennis: "Like an unloved brother, you appear and tug upon my coat to draw attention...". Dennis tells us his audience is himself. I feel pretty much the same. I had no new poem, but did a quick read of my old "The Pixie Sisters, 1957" which happened to be in my folder and is one of my favorites.
Beach Boy Burke, btw, is off pursuing his destiny in enviable climes for an unacceptable length of time. We may possibly see him in time for the Poet Laureate contest. Alan re-issued his invite for the Cookie Party on Friday night at his house. Sorry to say, it seems like many of us are going to be busy or away.
Yes, poets are meeting on December 23. Philosophers on the 16th.
We again had a testosterone-dominated group last Thursday. The balance improved to 4/7 with the last minute arrival of Philomena and Edie. Philomena brought "Audience", addressing the question we have tossed around for discussion of who we are writing for. Edie wrote a clever "Ginsberg-like" character sketch of spinster Amalia Ottemberg.
I missed most of the critique of Ann's "Eight Varieties, One Garden" because I was out of the room, but I know it was about tomatoes and it was colorful - unlike Paul's "After Hours" which painted a great picture of a quiet bar without referencing a single color by name. It mentioned the Poet's Corner, making us all believe it was Smith's Tavern. Mark's iPad reminded us of the Poet's Corner in Westminster Abbey, too.
The debate over audience was revived over "Beautiful Child", Tim's twin brother. The question was how much we poets were affected by already knowing a lot about Tim's family and if something needed to be clarified in the poem for those who didn't have the background info we did. I think Tim decided to rework it a little.
Dennis proclaimed Dan's poem excellent and another good stretch for this relatively new poet. I liked "oysters of thought", did not like "salivated". Someone suggested a tense change.
There was some debate over Alan's first line(s), a small punctuating error (the old it's/its dilemma) but he received kudos for the placement on page and a popular ending. Mark brought a Freudian poem of repression (according to Dennis), which to me was merely an nice work equating broken relationships to broken dishes.
My noms for BPOE (best poem of the evening) are Trying to Sweep Away the Fire and Ode to Darkness, Larry and Dennis respectively. Larry's worked because or in spite of the cameltoe reference which we explained to the unfamiliar. Larry: " small fire, a giggling wick on a carpet". Dennis: "Like an unloved brother, you appear and tug upon my coat to draw attention...". Dennis tells us his audience is himself. I feel pretty much the same. I had no new poem, but did a quick read of my old "The Pixie Sisters, 1957" which happened to be in my folder and is one of my favorites.
Beach Boy Burke, btw, is off pursuing his destiny in enviable climes for an unacceptable length of time. We may possibly see him in time for the Poet Laureate contest. Alan re-issued his invite for the Cookie Party on Friday night at his house. Sorry to say, it seems like many of us are going to be busy or away.
Yes, poets are meeting on December 23. Philosophers on the 16th.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
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