Lily Alys, the Martyr

"Alas, how many have been persecuted for the wrong of having been right?" (Jean-Baptiste Say)

I am feeling vindicated for the turmoil my critical post created. Maybe I inspired you to try harder, as we had some very good poems last Thursday.

I really enjoyed Alan's Will Christman's Walk, a story poem which was a "well-wrought snapshot" of his long journey to Albany to visit his son.

Mimi was a rush with snippets of marriage conversation from Stewart's - I loved the "five peaches, each one turned sour before the year was out".

Stacey bowled me over with a reflection about her mother which reminded me of my own. It consisted of fewer than 50 words, each of them perfect.

My own poem had been written as a wrap-up for my Sunday Four Alzheimer's performance, which I didn't get to complete. It was written for two voices (Tom read the other part) about renting a locker in the bus station to store words.

Tom had a real winner with his DP poem in shades of a voice that Tom has silenced in recent years, very colorful and touching. You should all look up DP - no, it is NOT Dumb Polack.

Best title of the night went to Philomena for "the thief who could not steal the moon", which Alan claims for a Perious Frink story that he has since forwarded to us. The title made me want to write my own story. Alan was pretty talkative, making a bad joke about Paul's harness track poem, something about nags. Edie was frivilously feminine in Hot Stuff, which she printed in bold red letters.

I suggested a rather slashing revision to Joyce's "Earliest Memories", to eliminate some of the more extraneous memories and concentrate on the interacton between her and her grandmother, which was obviously (to me) the heart of the poem.

Dan brought us a long, dense poem called The Song is Me, which prompted a lot of talk which I don't have time to disect here.

The late Mr. Obeeduid brought us a little booklet, complete with a pic of Alan getting ready to jump off a cliff. It contained perhaps the best line of the night - "It was not the Earth's fault we were men."

Several of our regulars were missing. No Art, Dennis, Cathy, Tim...we may not see Mike B. until the end of summer, although he should be at Sunday Four, which is the 22nd. Mimi and her brother Frank Desiderio are reading at Poets in the Park (Washington) on July 19. The philosophy gang of thugs is meeting here with Larry on Wednesday night (the 18th) at 6:30. Everybody's welcome to try this out. We had a good time last month. Tom's paintings are hanging here in the hall gallery. Stop and see them.

I was reading Charles Simic over the weekend and found out that I like him a lot. We have some new poetry books on shelf, including his Sixty Poems.

Guest Host

I am reporting second-hand information received this a.m. from guest host Drew Carey, er, sorry, Tim Verhaegen. There were 8 people in attendance at the 5th Thursday meeting - sounds like Cathy and Mimi and a bunch of the guys, including Art, who has been out of touch for a while. No one left me copies of anything so I don't have a lot to say. Tim didn't go to Smit's so no juice from there. There are pictures of Dennis and me in the Altamont Enterprise this week from the Sunday reading. See you all on the 12th. Edie, thanks again for the flowering branch. It smells wonderful.

I'm bored

I don't even feel like posting today and I'm going to have some blunt words, so get ready.

I think the quality of our work has been less than stellar, with last night being the zenith of wishy-washy. First, I don't know how much effort everyone is putting into their work, maybe you are putting your heart and soul into it and I just don't recognize it, but...your heart and soul is not showing up on paper. Second, there are some of you who don't seem to pay attention and profit from the group critiques. We are there for each other for a reason and if all you want to do is defend your own position, you shouldn't be wasting everybody's time.

The above is a general observation and, of course, there are exceptions to it, so if you get your feelings hurt easily, you can pretend that you are one of the exceptions.

TO THE POET: If poems don't just flow from your pen, and they rarely do, keep revising. Try to find an unusual combination of words or a coin a new expression. Think "outside the box". Take out all your adjectives and adverbs and write without any descriptors. Add them back gradually and stop before you get overloaded. There is a healthy balance between too spare and too saturated. Read your poem aloud to yourself, taking in and out the "and's and the's and then's and but's, etc." and see which ones feel right and contribute to or detract from the rhythm of the lines. Try writing a poem in the style of a poet whose work you enjoy. Imitate.

TO THE CRITIC: We seemed to be struggling to find good things to say to each other. Remember, the basic question to evaluate a poem: what is the message of this poem and is it conveying the message successfully? (Tom just pointed out that perhaps I oversimplified this. A more complete version is posted to the right.)

And, again, spelling and punctuation, unless integral to the format of the poem, can be corrected with a spellcheck if the poem is being submitted for publication, so don't bother me with it.

THE END: If you are not serious about improving your writing, get serious. We have a long-established reputation to uphold in the poetry world.

Philo 101

The first meeting of the philosophers under the direction of Professor Rapant went very well. Four people attended with a diversity of opinions, all politely expressed. The main conversation of the evening was family and friend relationships. I look forward to doing this again on June 18 (note: at 6:30 instead of 7) and encourage fence-sitters to commit. If you want details, contact Larry (see sidebar).

EOTNP meet this week.

This Sunday is open mic at Old Songs.

Larry is performing at Lark Tavern this Tuesday. Call him for details.

I guess this is togetherness week.

Guerilla Poetics Project

There was a feature in the Altamont Enterprise this week about poetry. Dan Wilcox is one of the local "operatives" of a clandestine movement to hide poetry broadsides in local public spaces. A favorite spot of his is between the pages of books (not poetry books!) in Borders to be found and hopefully appreciated by the unsuspecting consumer.

For 25 bucks the organization regularly sends a supply of broadsides to pass out, along with an operative's copy to keep. Directions on the back of each poem request the finder to go to a website and register the discovery. I think this sounds neat and if we passed the hat and joined up, we could divvy up the cards and hide them. Whaddaya think?
Visit http://www.guerillapoetics.org/
I can think of 100 other places to leave one.

Post Cocktail Party

I was a little late last night, having gone to a cocktail party (!) which turned out to be dinner. Mimi orchestrated the proceedures until I got there, thank you.

After making some jokes about the "Moriarty sisters", and suggesting that if Stacie needed an alias, she could become one, we found out that Philomena's mom died last week and expressed condolences. Philomena brought the eulogy which she had read at the funeral and it gave a good snapshot of her mother and her "direct line to the Almighty".

Stacie's poem was outstanding and included my favorite lines of the night: "there would be no harvest so I planted peas instead". It was so good there were no suggestions for improvements.

The original Moriarty also had a winner with As She Leaves, an elegant, flowing poem filled with motherly ambivalence about her daughter.

Okay, on to Dan'L -a real incursion into the land of free verse which inspired a lot of conversation and suggestions, which means to me that it was a good effort and contained some really nice lines. "I can taste the color of (the) sky." Good one. Dennis mentioned a cd of Dan's singing, which Dennis had played for me recently, and I was blown away. What a gift Dan has. I was very impressed. The cd is available to borrow, if anyone wants it. I think Bo took it last night.

I am glad that Bo is hanging in with the new crazies. She mentioned the different face of the group since her last sojourn with us. Her poem The God Rock struck a chord about moving and kids and God watching "changeless and still, from the garden".

I missed Dennis' poem, but he contributed an interesting observation about adjectives as fascists particularly those ending with -ous, which I liked.

Ally's work about "the fingernail moon" was evocative and moody, remembering her childhood wish for falling stars. Lovely.

I missed Alan's poem discussion, but it read well, about a crooked house and visit of magic wee ones. He passed out some broadsides and an installment of Rootdrinker newsletter.

Mark wrapped this up by raising the bar for all of us with his presentation, cover art by Sarah and inside rant by obeeduid. Even the typos worked well and made no difference in the wonderfulness of it.

Mimi, btw, is appearing at the Gay and Lesbian center on Wednesday, May 14, also the night that Larry's philosophy club starts here. I will be philosophizing. It is not too late to join us. Philomena passed out flyers for the Oriel Coffeehouse reading on May 16, including herself and our Alan, among others.

Timmy showed up near the end of the meeting (poemless). I went immediately home, replete with fettucine alfredo and asparagus spears.

PS - Lily Alys will be the feature at the first Sunday Four.

BIts

I see green! I see flowers! I feel like painting and playing the harmonica!

I have an appointment on Thursday and may be a little late for the meeting, but Tom the Sculptor will wield the gavel if necessary.

I have had another inquiry about the group and am expecting a new face.

Am wondering how Edie is having time to poeticize along with all the oratory that is pouring from her pen regarding the moratorium.

Larry's philosophy meeting is next Wed. May 14. If you are not on board yet, let's do it.

Dennis has asked me to be the Person on mic at Sunday Four on May 25 (I think I was choice #3 or 6 or something, but, hey, that's okay). I am considering doing something out of the ordinary, no, not playing the harmonica, well, maybe...

Does anyone understand the hostility behind dousing the tulip?

Have you all completed...

...your Local Poets Survey? Alan would like them returned to him. Very clever, Alan.
A reminder about Jazz/Poetry at the Perfect Blend this Sunday 3 - 5 p.m., open mic with some musical performances.

Okay, Ally had a winner last night with another familiar parent/child scenario - Who do you love most, Daddy or Mommy? Tom suggested cutting a couple of lines.

Tom had a laugh-out-louder (according to Mimi) called Perp Walk. Great title, but obviously dated with a reference to Robert Downey, Jr.

Mimi opened with a teaser which led you into a poem about losing someone to cancer that was powerful. Ovarian - "a wreck of a word" in that context. Good one.

Sex and death seemed to be the topics for the night, as Stacie took us to Sanibel Island for a rendezvous involving salty kisses and sweaty embraces. "I long for your endless summer". Love that.

An argument almost ensued over the blind men and the elephant story which Philomena referred to. Unresolved. Good poem about blathering on without seeing. Obviously dated with a reference to John Ashcroft, however.

Back to sex with Edie. Something kinky involving the dog, and only Vignette I, so there may be more to follow.

Philomena did an outstanding read of Tim's Carrie, a really good story poem with a wonderful line: "I found a shred of you, it came paper thin." Loved that, too.

Storyteller Amidon brought us into the 60's with a "too neat" (according to Tom) tale of cops and a drug bust, riddled with "down to earth" phrases (also know as cliches) which actually worked because of the subject matter.

Dan dealth death (ooh, great alliteration) in the frame of a blackjack game. Some good lines "coffee tasted from a spoon, ashes dealt through a sieve." No rhymes! (but a few tense problems)).

I wound up the sex issues trying to make scrambled with frozen eggs and Dennis finished off death with Reconciliation at a Graveyard. Interesting observation by the author: "monuments are a myth, we carry people."

Our old friend, Bo Geel, appeared, looking as good as she did when last sighted ten or twelve years ago - has it really been that long? She came poem-less and needed her GPS to find us, but said she'd be back.

I grabbed a burger to go at Smit's and rushed home to catch the end of Grey's Anatomy.

A little mistake (by me)

I posted that Sunday Four was beginning this month, when the truth is that it is beginning on May 25, 3 - 5 p.m. at 41 South Main.

Also neglected to post that poets and musicians will be at the Perfect Blend this Sunday. Check with Alan for details.

Alright, Larry has picked a date for his first philosophy discussion: Wednesday, May 14 at 7 p.m. here at VPL. Anyone interested in offering their opinions on a variety of subjects should contact Larry at lrapant@nycap.rr.com. He has a few people recruited.

Remains of the Day